THIS IS WHAT SHE WROTE ABOUT 3 MONTHS BEFORE HER SUICIDE. SHE WILL REMAIN ANONAMOUS.
An Addicts roots are caused by a bad/wrong self perception conceived at early stages in a childs development.
The “bad” self perception could have been caused from degradation, trauma, being belittled, name calling or anything that could have had a negative impact on a childs phsycy. Thus, creating a bad/wrong self perception.
From this self perception, they create negative or learned behavior skills to cope with the feeling of rejection or wrong perception “coping skills” Once the childs spirit has been broken down in an area of effect, the child then implements the coping skills in day to day situations that have been presented as a difficult task to render.
A child comes into the world without knowledge of sin or these learned behaviors. Hence they are created to cope in our culture or society in a form to protect themselves.
Parents are known to have created a negative impact on their childs emotional capacity to grow.
If caught in early stages, suggestions to enable lifeskills and therapy to prevent an addict forming behavior in later stages of development.
Parents can have the heaviest effect on a childs emotional stunting. Children are known to strive for affirmation, well dones and acknowledgement of good behavior. And when not recognized, or this has been broken, can cause irreparable damage. Children then start to live in belief in self degradation after the damage has been done. This is therefore a breeding place for negativity. It lays the very foundation for an addict to be formed, thus creating addictive personality disorders.
Later, in adolescent years leading to adulthood-new healthy coping skills are uneasily obtained. unhealthy coping skills are therefore created which presents bad behavior, and results in confusion or inability to cope with ones emotions.
They start looking for “Self outlets” or “feel good” factors in their lives. You will find these children that become adults, battle to concentrate and are unmanageable at times, with behaviors that are defined as not “normal behavior” .
In a lot of case studies, addicts have a child hood trauma that bases underlying factors as to why they lead to the path to self outlets. As they fear they are not “normal” they fear, at later stages, as well as early development, Rejection. They fear rejection, therefore Causing the need to self sooth grows more intense. Some case studies show that from early addiction, the addict at 31 can still remain at the same emotional age they were at when they started the addiction cycle many years prior. Studies to grow the emotional capacity should be implemented-possibly therapy and life skill extensive training can assist.
Teenage or early addict hood the children start hearing about drugs and alcohol and how it makes them “feel good” Their inner broken child is pulled to experimentation of these outlets to relive their pain and neglect as well as rejection. This turns into regular use and before you know it, an addict is formed. Extremity of adrenaline “highs” in negative aspects, keep the addict in a feel good state. Example: the thrill they get when heading toward the dealer. They could be killed or arrested knowingly, yet the excitement and rush pull the addict as enticement. At this stage they create a dependency on the drug of choice. They are unable to believe they are worthy/normal/confidant without their drug. This creates their own self image.